Pug Jelly - Come Home Soon

click to listen >> music video

It's been two days and I'm missin' you already
Never really thought you could mean
So much in such a little time

Think about the nights when I'm lyin' in your bed
With my chest resting your head
Now that you're gone I'm here to stay

I think I'm fallin' down. Down down down
With a bad case of love. Love love love
I think I'm falling for you. You you you
I think, I'm falling in love

When you come back all I wanna do is hold you
Have a blast even though there's nothing to do
Hold you close and look you in the eyes

So just come back and I'll tell you how I feel
Never knew how easy you could steal
My heart I miss you come home soon

I think I'm fallin' down. Down down down

With a bad case of love. Love love love

I think I'm falling for you. You you you

I think, I'm falling in love

I think, I'm fallin' in love
I think, I'm fallin' in love

Cause I know that you won't be home when I call you
You're in England now, I hope that you'll be home soon
Cause I know that you won't be there when I call you, NOW

I think I'm fallin' down. Down down down

With a bad case of love. Love love love

I think I'm falling for you. You you you

I think, I'm falling in love

I think, I'm fallin' in love(slow)
I think, I'm fallin' in love

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lolz.. its pretty close. pug jelly is a local band. hmmm.. 2 aussie & a jap. i didn't know about that. well.. actually i knew, just wasn't certain. its quite nice though, the song i meant. haha..

my ankle is feeling better by the day. i can bend over now. so i tried removing the bandage yesterday & clean my foot. then i bandage it back cos i fear i might knock my ankle against something. i'm quite a klutz. haha.. the bandage acts as somesort of protection. =P

take care peepz & sweetie. peace out!

ELATED!!

i've just chatted with my dear!! i was lying down when she message. rushed to my keyboard & accidentally hit the table with my wounded ankle! agony!! but chatting with her really soothes the pain! oh gosh! love ya lots dear! i'm the happiest guy in the world!! happy happy happy!! lolz.. hahahaha.. she's still doing her assignment, carrying out experiments. didn't get any sleep though. i wished everything goes well so that she could get some rest. *hugs hugs*

the last time i slept, i had a dream. a wonderful dream. we were by the beach, hanging out by each other's arms enjoying the relaxing scenery of the sunset with breeze of winds coming from the sea. ahhh.. it was enjoyable. the dream might be simple but it seems as though time had stopped & there was just the two of us. then.. i woke up. shoot! i grumbled & grumbled. trying my best to fall asleep again. unfortunately i can't cos i'd been asleep for 12 hours. =(

i'm gonna sleep now. hopefully i'll be able to continue with the same dream! hahaha.. sweet dreams everyone & take care! especially to my dear. *muacks* take good care of yourself!!

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Stacie Orrico - I Promise

Will I always be there for you?

When you need someone, Will I be that one you need?

Will I do all my best to, to protect you?

When the tears get near your eyes

Will I be the one that's by your side?

Will I be there when you call me in the middle of the night?

Will I keep the rain from falling down into your light?

I promise, I promise

I promise I will

Will I take tender tender care of you?

Take your darkest night and make it bright for you

Will I be there to make you strong and to lean on?

When this world has turned so cold

Will I be the one that's there to hold?
Will I be there when you call me in the middle of the night?

Will I keep the rain from falling down into your light?

I promise, I promise

I promise I will

Will I be there when you call me in the middle of the night?

Will I keep the rain from falling down into your light?

I promise, I promise

I promise I will

Yeah

And I love you more every day

And nothing will take that love away

When you need someone

I promise I'll be there for you (there for you)

I promise

Will I be there when you call me in the middle of the night?

Will I keep the rain from falling down into your light?

I promise, I promise

I promise I will

And I promise (and I promise)

I promise (oh I promise you)

I will be there when you call me (when you call me)

I promise (I promise)

I promise I will

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kinda a lot of promises huh?? i guess i'll just have to do my best. haha.. alright dear? *HUGS*

Second day of recovery

recovering quite well. it wasn't as painful as the last i think. can't remember. infact, the wound doesn't hurt at all. perhaps its the work of the painkillers. thank you so much to the person who came up with it. haha.. however both my legs are sore. left leg for hopping around the house. & the right leg for being "afloat" the whole day. well.. my whole body is sore, for staying in bed for too long with the same exact postition. it was so uncomfortable.. haha.. wished it will healed up soon!

i think i forgot to mention that the nurses yesterday were especially "nice" towards me. they were like smiling & smiling whenever they walked passed my bed. some chatted with me, but i just wanted to rest. no choice but to entertain them. well.. maybe cos the other patients were ah peks! lolz.. that's why they were attentive towards me. hahahaha... whatever.

its weird but i kinda like staying at the hospital. actually i wanted to be warded but my mum wanted me to be at home. living at the hospital is very very peaceful plus there are nurses around the clock to attend to my needs. hahaha.. it is a bit boring though but there isn't much different with my current situation.

anyway i'm gonna stop now. my legs are cramping up on me. better get more sleep dear. you'll fall sick if you don't give your body a chance to rest once in a while. *hugs hugs*

Back from Surgery

the operation went well. the whole procedure was quick, it took about half an hour. i was discharged by lunchtime. as i had predicted, the injection was the most painful part. the surgeon jabbed me around 10 - 15 times with the needle!! argh...!!! then i kinda chatted with the surgeon. i asked.. "are you done yet with the injection already?". he replied.. "... injection over. your ankle had already been sliced open." at this point, i was like whoa... that was fast! wanted to look at it, but they placed sheets of cloth to block my view. then i could feel the screws being unscrewed. it wasn't painful but as he unscrews it, it kinda hits the nerves. lastly the stitch, though my ankle was numb all over, i could still feel the needle piercing thru my skin. hahaha... gross but cool!!

i reached early. i was the first patient. i went in alone while my mum heads home. i was surrounded by nurses, 10 at least. however.. only a couple was wort taking a second look. hahaha.. but i wished i was being attended to by my dear carissa. haha.. oh well..

this was taken before my operation. see the circle that i've highlighted? that's the caused of the infection, blame it all to my impatience.. should have waited for it to heal up before i started walking. causing the stitch to burst open. hahaha..

these metals here are the implants that was a part of me for a year & a half. interestingly, it looked much smaller than the ones shown on the x-ray. plus! i've got to keep it!! hahaha.. thinking about framing them up! well.. hmmm.. hahaha...

my ankle is all bandaged up yet again.. well well.. isn't this familiar. got a feeling of de ja vu. haha.. wished i could open it up & let all of you see the wound. but i can hardly bend over without sending painful pulses to it. some other day then.

The moment finally comes.

gonna have my operation later, i'm kinda scared but its probably nothing. it will soon pass. however i reckon that its gonna be a much more painful experience than the previous surgery. mainly cos of the injection. the procedure is pretty much the same as removing my wisdom tooth. the wisdom tooth took just 2 shot of injection. hmmm.. i wonder how much more i'll be receiving for my ankle? the thought of having my ankle sliced open right before my eyes is just gruesome as i'll still be able to feel the doctor tugging the flesh. hahaha.. but its cool! it would be awesome if i could bring back the metal plate & the screws, but i don't think there's any such possiblity. oh well.. too bad then.

i went out earlier to treat myself before the operation. i bought something worth.. 119 bucks i think? hmm.. not too sure.. haha. however the thing that i really really wanted is just priceless. which is love. if i could obtain that then it would just be heaven. i'm willing to risk any pain or absolutely anything withing my capability for that matter. i hope the operation would be life threatening, it would be great!. hahaha.. just kidding. =P

anyway i need to get some rest now. getting kinda sleepy. good night people & have a nice day dear. take care of yourself. =)

Operation Ankle

went to the hospital earlier for check-up on my ankle. everything is fine so the surgery will be held this coming thursday. its gonna be touch-n-go operation, meaning i'll be "reporting" at 9am, i'll be awake throughout the whole procedure. they are gonna inject the stuff around my ankle, i forgot what it is called, cut my ankle open, unscrew the screws & remove the metal plate. i'll probably be discharge in the afternoon. i'm hoping for a fast recovery.

me & my mum went to geylang to shop around for clothes & other accessories after the visit to the hospital. i was feeling grumpy due to the lack of sleep so i went home first. hahaha.. i bought a light purple "baju kurung", a malay traditional clothing. its wasn't very nice i think, but i don't give a damn cos it was hard to find a nice pair plus it was drizzling plus i was having a major headache plus the lack of sleep. hahaha..

my dear just started on her assignment so she'll be busy. she still wanna chat with me in ICQ but i would rather want her to get more sleep. *hugs hugs* love ya dear. take care.

Brrrr...

i blogged earlier that i like rainy days. well, the only setback is the temperature. i woke up at 10 earlier. as usual i missed the time set for breaking fast. amazingly i wasn't feeling hungry, but i did felt like smoking. then i realised that there was only a stick left in the box. argh! no way i could stand the entire night without a puff. so i washed my face & went out. brrrrr..... it was damn cold! i was shivering as i walk. even more so when i was inside 7-11, the queue was long. heck! hahaha.. then i rushed back to my house & went under my blanket. so warm & cos.. ahhh... lolz..

today i had a bad day. my left eye was very sore, as though someone had puched it. the pain wasn't the problem, its just that the tingling feeling was rather distracting when i was watching tv. haha.. i also had tummy ache thru-out the whole day. hmm.. maybe it was something i ate? or maybe i caught the cholera disease! *gasp* alright alright.. my dear would probably be asking me to touch wood again. lolz.. *touchwood touchwood* hahaha..

i am so bored... i wished time would skip so that i can chat with my dear in ICQ again..

why do i always think that i'm better off being dead?

Rainy Days..

its been raining everyday right now. oh man how i love it! especially at night. the air is so fresh, tranquil surrounding. it just relaxes me, makes me at ease with my thoughts. everything is so peaceful. hahaha..

its weird how a person reacts to its feelings. when feeling down everything seems negative. but when a person is happy, life is just great! perhaps this what the human heart does. to overcome it, self-discipline, maturity & experienced solves the problem.

however, life without its ups & downs is just redundant. without its sadness & difficlties, we would never be thankful for the happiness that is bestowed upon us. giving us the opportunity to cherish the happiness. frankly speaking, life full of happiness is rather boring. although i've been wishing for happiness almost everyday in my life. haha.. it is complicating. it just goes to show that life isn't to be taken for granted cos we would never known what will happen with our fate in the future. that's why i'm talking in circles! repeating myself. better stop now. lolz..

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Distant Heartbeat

Knowing that you are so far away

I hug the air around me tight

In my mind dreaming it's you

I opened my heart as I opened my mouth

To kiss your sweet red lips

Sometimes I breathe deep

In hopes of catching your scent

Sometimes I can my love

Sometimes I smell your hair

The same as sometimes I hear your laugh

Though they are but echoes fading

Fading into the darkness of my mind

Still they boom and echo

Deep within a hollow heart

Filling it with love that few have felt

Though many have dreamt

I belong to you love

As you belong to me

But until the next time I hold you

Until the next time I kiss you

Until the next time I'm with you

When I need you, I'll close my eyes

And hold you tight

Tight, Tight Tighter

Until I can feel your heartbeat in my hands

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just a little poetry i conjured up during my free time.

BORED......

nothing much to blog about.

my favourite mug cracked earlier this week. sigh.. missed it so much. late nights have not been the same without it. hot coffees & milos tasted different. the amount just ain't balanced.

i'm feeling disturbed. i just wished to skip this depressing phase. move on to happiness & towards death eventually. i wonder how long it will take to reach my final destination. this sucks big time..

I'M SO BORED!!!!!

last night i made a mistake. out of boredom i browse thru my past. i'm having conflicting feelings right now. but i still believe i'm moving on. the past is so hard to let go. nonetheless its just my history now...

Blissful..

feeling great. everything is settling in nicely. aaaahhh.. how great is the feeling. its been a long long time. slowly but surely (i hope) i'm regaining my joyful self again. but this time, i'm more matured & steady. i'm not gonna ask for too much. just wanna be happy & treasuring every minute. gonna try to be postive & curbing up my bad-tempered nature.

fasting has been swell of a time. no problem at all. haha.. unlike my younger & cuter days. complaining every minute, getting the nerves of my mum. difficulty in waking up early for the morning meal, grumbling & knocking on chairs & tables. falling asleep during my meal on the plate! hahahaha..

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"I LOVE YOU!" in different languages.

• Afrikaans - Ek is lief vir jou!
• Albanian - Te dua!
• Amharic - Afekrishalehou!
• Arabic - Ohiboke!
• Armenian - Yes kez si'rumem!
• Basque - Maite zaitut!
• Bengali - Ami tomake bahlobashi!
• Bosnian - Volim te!
• Bulgarian - Obicham te!
• Catalan - T'estimo!
• Creole - Mi aime jou!
• Croatian - Volim te!
• Czech - Miluji tev!
• Danish - Jeg elsker dig!
• Dutch - Ik hou van je!
• English - I love you!
• Esperanto - Mi amas vin!
• Estonian - Mina armastan sind!
• Farsi - Tora dost daram!
• Filipino - Iniibig kita!
• Finnish - (Mä) rakastan sua!
• French - Je t'aime!
• Frisian - Ik hald fan dei!
• Galician - Querote!
• German - Ich liebe dich!
• Greek - S'ayapo!
• Gujarati - Hoon tane pyar karoochhoon! tane chaahuN chhuN!
• Hawaiian - Aloha wau ia 'oe!
• Hebrew - Anee ohev otakh!
• Hindi - Mai tumase pyar karata hun!
• Hungarian - Szeretlek!
• Icelandic - Eg elska thig!
• Indonesian - Saya cinta padamu!
• Irish - t'a gr'a agam dhuit!
• Italian - Ti amo!
• Japanese - Kimi o ai shiteru!
• Korean - Dangsinul saranghee yo!
• Latin - Te amo!
• Latvian - Es tevi milu!
• Lithuanian - As tave myliu!
• Malaysian - Saya cintamu!
• Mandarin - Wo ai ni!
• Marshallese - Yokwe Yuk!
• Norwegian - Jeg elsker deg!
• Polish - Kocham ciebie!
• Portuguese - Eu te amo!
• Romanian - Te iubesc!
• Russian - Ya tyebya lyublyu!
• Sanskrit - twayi snihyaami
• Serbian - Volim te!
• Sesotho - Kiyahurata!
• Slovak - Lubim ta!
• Slovenian - Ljubim te!
• Spanish - Te amo!
• Swahili - Nakupenda!
• Swedish - Jag älskar dig!
• Tagalog - Mahal kita!
• Thai - Phom rug khun
• Turkish - Seni seviyorum!
• Ukrainian - Ya tebe kokhayu!
• Urdu - Main tumse muhabbat karta hoon!
• Vietnamese - Anh yeu em!
• Welsh - Rwy'n dy garu di!
• Yiddish - Kh'hob dikh lib!
• Zulu - Ngiyakuthanda!

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lolz... nothing better to do! hahaha.. good night peepz!

Feels good...

This song sums up the concealed emotion in me. finally i've moved on.. cheerios amigos.. *winks* LOLZ...

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Dreamz FM - Should I Stay

Had a drive

Driven by your love

But when you messed around

I lost the drive I found

Thought you needed

Needed someone true

But you changed your mind

Or had I failed you?

Wish you'd been

Careful with my heart

But you tore it apart

And broke an angel's heart

The kiss was true

Has to end somehow

But I am livin' proof of what love is about

It's hard holding you

Loving you, losing you

It's sad to be true

And be fooled by you

I don't know (I don't know)

I gotta know

Should I stay or should I go?

You played me on

Played me like a clown

But I feel for you

Eventhough I'm down

My heart is heavy

Heavy like a rock

But I am so amused

You're still in my thoughts

It's hard holding you

Loving you, losing you

It's sad to be true

And be fooled by you

I don't know (I don't know)

I gotta know

Should I stay or should I go?

Oooohh... should I stay?

Should I go?

It's hard holding you

Loving you, losing you

It's sad to be true

And be fooled by you

I don't know (I don't know)

I wanna know

Should I stay or should I...?

This time its done

It'll never feel the same

But we had some good times

Guess it's sad just the same

I guess the truth

Doesn't matter somehow

But you were livin' proof of what love is about...

Facts of Life

i've just learnt some sad & hard truths. it really hurt me hard. couldn''t bring myself to accept it. sigh.. i'm more confused than ever. maybe i shouldn't be too hard on her. cos right now i'm full of guilt. its a really terrible feeling. i think right now i needed to have a nice chat with someone dear to me whom i can relate to. someone who knows the situation. sigh.. i'm feeling darn miserable tonight.

anyway England won by a goal from Micheal Owen. i ought to be happy but the result have no effect on me whatsoever. sigh..

life isn't great. what life has given to us, deal it in the best way that we can. compared to others who have a 'rich' life, life would suck a million times over. but compared to others who have worse fate than us, we would have to be thankful that we didn't have to go through the same fate. my life & fate can be found in between the highest & lowest. so i'm just living it the best way i can. however i hope that i can ease the harsh fate that life has given to people whom i cares for.

i'm learning about life as i grow. every now & then i stumble upon new & shocking stuffs about life. sigh.. i'm too miserable to carry on..

i feel especially relaxed today. probably cos i scored 79 for my test. lolz.. from now on i won't have anything to do with Ngee Ann Poly & i don't have to step into the school ever again. except for sending my laptop for repairs & the graduation ceremony which i don't think i'll be going. now i'll just have to look forward. next up, NS & then getting a job or furthering studies. if i happen to get a good job with good salary. then most probably i'll be sticking to that job, if not then pursuing for a degree or something like that.

hmmm.. i know that drinking & smoking is extremely bad for the health. i should probably quit it. however these are the two things that keeps me company constantly. i'll be lost without it. sigh.. anyway the fasting month is starting in 2 days time & i'll be trying to stop the alcohol & nicotine intake. i don't think i'll still be consuming these stuffs after i've settled down. 'if' there's a chance that i find someone that is truly special, i'll most likely quit it cos family comes first. but me finding someone special? i'm not too sure about that.. oh well..

everyday i'm missing someone (girls). 3 to be exact. i'm trying hard to forget 2 of them as one of them hurt me real bad inside while the other.. hmm.. i just don't know what i should do with her. as for the third one , i'm not sure whether i should be having these thought about her in the first place. we share a good relationship & i don't wanna ruin that, but on the other hand i'm developing these feelings for her. what should i do? headache headache.. sigh..

coming up next is the World Cup European Qualifier. England vs. "a country i've never heard of".. lolz.. i'll be stopping here for today. so long!

Record Breaker

today i broke my record. i smoked 40 sticks of Marlboro cigarettes & 10 cans of Baron in a day! lolz..

i'm a bit drunk right now, so i won't be typing much. good night!

anyway i've bought 6-packs of BARONS. anyone willing to join me? if not then i'll probably finish it all to myself! lolz.. =/

Love. YES or NO?

should or shouldn't i love? hmmm.. is there anyone whom i should love? is there anyone who love me? hmmm.. is love really important? i didn't used to think so it was until i experienced the full blast. i was just wondering these few days. should i pursue the love or should i just leave it be? i just can't find the answer. maybe i'm just too timid or maybe my subconcious is avoiding it. hmmm.. a new love? willing to find the answer to my question?

nothing much happen today, just went to school for the test. that's all.. i shall stop blogging now. gonna think about love. so long.

White Chicks

hmmm.. nothing much, caught "White Chicks" yesterday with my friends. it was funny & disgusting at the same time. it was just gross looking at the two guys. yucks! but overall, the show was not bad. =)

tomorrow i'll be having my last test. finally. after tommorow i'm gonna declare myself free from ngee ann poly with a couple jugs of booze. but i'll have to cramp it all tonight first. should be easy. haha.. so long!

NEW LOVE?

Fragility of life

life is as fragile as a new born baby. it can be ended in a matter of seconds. there are an infinite methods of end one's life. i've thought of it on a few occassions, stepped over the boundary between life & death. i'm still alive & blogging, so meaning i've chosen life? do we live for others or for ourselves? most people live for others; for example families, close friends or even animals. the few who live for theselves.. well.. i'm not too sure cos i've never experience that. i just can't apprehend it. what's the purpose? isn't it just selfish to live with that concept? i'm struggling with life as there's barely any joy in it. i'm just waiting for a reason. a reason to live. hope it appears soon. hopefully.

DEFINITIONS OF LIFE

1. a : the quality that distinguishes a vital and functional being from a dead body b : a principle or force that is considered to underlie the distinctive quality of animate beings c : an organismic state characterized by capacity for metabolism, growth, reaction to stimuli, and reproduction

2. a : the sequence of physical and mental experiences that make up the existence of an individual b : one or more aspects of the process of living [sex life of the frog]

3. BIOGRAPHY

4. spiritual existence transcending physical death

5. a : the period from birth to death b : a specific phase of earthly existence [adult life] c : the period from an event until death [a judge appointed for life] d : a sentence of imprisonment for the remainder of a convict's life

6. a way or manner of living

7. LIVELIHOOD

8. a vital or living being; specifically : PERSON [many lives were lost in the disaster]

9. an animating and shaping force or principle

10. SPIRIT, ANIMATION

11. the form or pattern of something existing in reality

12. the period of duration, usefulness, or popularity of something [the expected life of flashlight batteries]

13. the period of existence (as of a subatomic particle)

14. a property (as resilience or elasticity) of an inanimate substance or object resembling the animate quality of a living being

15. living beings (as of a particular kind or environment) [forest life]

16. a : human activities b : animate activity and movement [stirrings of life] c : the activities of a given sphere, area, or time [the political life of the country]

17. one providing interest and vigor [life of the party]

18. an opportunity for continued viability [gave the patient a new life]

19. capitalized, Christian Science : GOD

20. something resembling animate life [a grant saved the project's life]

Hopeless

the labtest was unexpectedly easy. so easy that got over confident. with much time left in my hand, i thought i'm almost done with test with the last question. i was far ahead compared to my labmates. so i wasted time. STUPID. with 10 minutes left, i finally realised there was another page at the back. argh.. i could have gotten the full score but my stupidity cost me my grades. argh, forget it. this is probably the last module i'll be taking. next coming monday i'll be having my theory test. the last test paper of ngee ann poly. music to my ears..

eveytime i thought i've moved on. it just keeps drawing back again. all those memories occupies my dream. how can i move on like this? how can i prevent myself from dreaming? daytime, i try ever so hard to find something to do just to prevent my thoughts from wondering aimlessly. night time, still trying to occupy my mind until i drop dead into the arms of mr sandman. i'm probably the most sensitive guy in this lifetime. hopeless & very much without a purpose in life.

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Death is nothing but a moment's rest

Until the Second Coming of the Lord

When He shall gather to Him of the best

To take them to the place of their reward.

I've felt the power of God in my soul

Shining like a golden sun within,

Melting my hard heart to make me whole,

Burning out the remnants of my sin.

I've felt Him work within me, so I know

The glory that will come when I awake.

I'll sleep just like a child who'll homeward go,

And in my dreams of love great pleasure take.

So do not mourn my death, and do not grieve.

The Lord will come for me: This I believe.

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so long everyone.. good bye..

Graveyard

yesterday i went over to jln bahar cemetry to visit my dad with my mum.. its been a long time. it was a routine for us to visit him before the start of the fasting month. i missed going there although i hated the bugs there. cockroach, spiders, colonies of termites, big flying bugs.. hmmm.. i wonder how i'm gonna survive the jungle training in NS... anyway loads of weeds had grown since our last visit. so i had to pull it all out. that morning was especially hot & humid & i was sweating profusely. i think we stayed there for about half an hour. then we visit my grandmum's grave. there wasn't much cleaning to be done cos my other relatives visit her frequently. i just utter some prayers for her. however i really hated the big banana tree that is rooted next to her grave. i wonder how it got there in the first place. i felt so eeky went i reached home, felt so sticky so i bathed again. this was very very rare for me cos i don't bathe so often.. hehe.. watched some cartoons on tv before i head to bed. i'm a boring guy. sigh..

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"But those who believe and do good deeds, We will admit them to gardens (Paradise) in which rivers flow, lasting in them forever..."

Life involves preparing the soul to become worthy to pass through death, which is a transition, and progress to eternity in Paradise

"If you could but see when they are set before the Fire (Hell) and say: ‘Would that we might return (to the world)! Then we would not reject the verses of our Lord, but we would be of the believers!"

Just as Paradise is a place of delight, Hell is a place of eternal torment.

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i'll be having my labtest tmr. finally! another theory test & i don't have to step into NP again! i haven't studied for it yet cos i'm lazy.. hehe.. anyway i just got back from my friend's house. i borrowed his laptop for tmr's labtest. my bloody laptop is down. the whole screen turns blue whenever i switched it on, i guess its feeling blue, lolz..

gonna read thru a bit now.. take care peepz...