Sick

down with heavy flu.. crappy feeling. blocked nose & always ended up with used tissue all over. so far i've finished up one box. more to come as usual.

i've been having thesame dreams everynight for about a month. what does it mean? it gonna happen to me? or maybe the reason i've been having these dreams is cos i've been thinking too much about it? sigh.. get out of my freaking head!

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Fade To Black

Life it seems, will fade away

Drifting further every day

Getting lost within myself

Nothing matters no one else

I have lost the will to live

Simply nothing more to give

There is nothing more for me

Need the end to set me free

Things are not what they used to be

Missing one inside of me

Deathly lost, this can't be real

Cannot stand this hell I feel

Emptiness is filling me

To the point of agony

Growing darkness taking dawn

I was me, but now He's gone

No one but me can save myself, but it's too late

Now I can't think, think why I should even try

Yesterday seems as though it never existed

Death greets me warm, now I will just say good-bye

What Crap!

heh heh.. paiseh.. >_<.. found the bag in school! lolz.. hmm.. i was really sure that i had brought it home. well.. =P. i went to far east to continue with my appointment. this time around was the face. it was so so painful. the worst so far. crap! not only that, it was freezin cold too & i wasn't wearing my shirt. now i'm sick.. the usual fever, flu & sore throat. what a major drag. went straight to school to check the project room locker. suprisingly the lock was still intact! hehe.. i thought they would have already snap it off since i've already graduated & it has been 3-4 months now? anyway i opened the lock & was delighted to see the bag!! woo hoo.. the main thing is that the stuff are in there. =P the year doesn't seem so bad afterall.. hehe..

decided to hang around school for a while with my friends before heading out for dinner. went on to play billiards. haha.. i'm so bad at this.. & i can't even remember when was the last time i handled the stick! so obviously i sucked at it earlier.. sucked at it big time. yea.. whatever.. i blame it all to the pain on my back & the fever plus the runny nose. bleahz..

the throbbing pain on my back is bothering me alot. i guess i'm gonna rest now. hmm.. well.. bye.

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Step by step, heart to heart, left right left

We all fall down like toy soldiers

Bit by bit, torn apart, we never win

But the battle wages on for toy soldiers

bloody crap!!! was supposed to go out for a game of street soccer but it rain! that would be fine. but as i was packing the stuffs for the game before the rain came pouring down, i could not find my le coq sportif sling bag!!! argh!! fuck fuck fuck. i don't really care if the bag is burned or shreded into pieces. its the stuffs inside that i really care about. stuffs that are very very personal to me. full of sentimental stuffs. damn it. damn it. i wonder if it was misplaced during the shifting of my new cupboard. was it thrown away by accident? or maybe it is in school? sigh.. i'll be going to school on monday morning to check then. hopefully its there. sigh.. only the 2 day of the new year & my luck is already going downwards. argh!! i've a feeling this is gonna be the worst year for me. damn it damn it.

2005

went for two more sessions over the past 2 weeks. firstly, i had the tail portion shaded. it really hurts that time cos i had just recovered & i was still feeling very weak. the first night was painful, bathing was a chore. after a few days, it dried up & shed itself. hmm.. i'm not too sure about this. was it supposed to do that? anyway i went for my 3rd session the past monday, only to be told that my appointment was on sunday! haha.. maybe i shouldn't have drank so much on christmas eve! & on christmas! spent my sunday sleeping.. sheesh. unfortunately he was busy on that day, so i had to come the next day. i was hoping to finished my the 2 wings & the head portion. but it had to be delayed cos he was feeling under the weather & only managed to shade in 1 part of the wings. crap!

actually right now i've just woke up. spent the whole of the countdown at east coast. the rain was really a drag. spoilt everything. the mood got better after 1 in the morning. started drinking.. & i was wasted.. bloody wasted. there were probably around 5 - 8 people with 2 bottles jack daniels (1 large, 1 small) & 3 bottles of blackcat. we also brought a couple bottles of coke.. but it was barely touched. the 2 blackcats & the large jack daniel was finished up within an hour. &.. hmmm... can't really remember what happen next. i only know that i drank quite a lot. if the tsunami were to occur then.. i don't think i'm able to do much. just lay there being wasted. haha. hmmm.. someone was shouting (don't know who), i remember going into the tent to shut my eyes only to come out within a minute cos it was very stuffy inside the tent. & then i was carried around.. woke up in the morning with my pants down. wasn't really sure of my surrounding. took a cab home & puke inside the cab.. all the way from east coast to jurong. the cab driver was nice, gave me a plastic bag & rock sugar. but he talked way too much.. puke some more when i reached home & was dead after a quick shower. hahaha..

hmm.. just realised that its a new year today!! no resolution for me this year. maybe i'll make some out along year. happy NEW YEAR guys...

i'm still feeling a bit groggy now. i think i'll just lie down....