knowing that most of my friends, including some girls, who had already went for NS & some even had ord from it really made me feel so left out. i'm like so lagging.. but then again, i'm already sick of it even before i serve my time. everytime i went out with my NS friends, all they do is talk about their army or police experiences or whatever. i manage to understand some of the stuffs they talk about but most of the time, i'm left hanging.. wondering what the heck they are talking about. haha.. i'm tired of hearing the same shit from different groups of friends. sigh.. i wanna go in right now! the anxiety is killing me. i wanna taste the torture personally. haha..
i've concluded that i feel more at ease with having relationship with chinese girls. sigh.. this is so perplexing. i'm expect loads of hardship. i don't understand why i can't click well with my own race other than being friends. i don't dare to think how my family life would be in the future. maybe i'll be a bachelor for the remaining of my life.. hmm.. it'll be very lonely.. =(
maybe i should just concentrate on my career for the future. or just donate my little ones to the bank to continue on my heritage! lolz.. oh well.. whatever.. signing off now..
